SPOILERS (of course):
1. So, how about that wedding on Downton Abbey last night? Uh–what wedding?
After putting Lady Mary Snootypants, er Crawley, and Matthew Priggishpants, er Crawley, through the proverbial wringer, with various ups and downs and ins and outs, at last the couple were to be married in a lavish ceremony.
Except they cut it off before the couple even said their vows!
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT????
My sister was worried when Mary and Matthew had yet another tiff that seemed to be leading to another sinkhole in their courtship road. “They better let them get married!” she cried.
Well, DID they get married?
From the way the wedding was shot (Mary lead up the aisle, cut to Mary and Matthew in a car driving up to Downton Abbey) it’s possible to fill in a whole other scenario–Mary becoming a runaway bride, Matthew pursuing her, and the two of them running away to France to live in sin, sin, sin.
Of course that didn’t happen. But the careless way that the wedding was shot was a real poke in the eye to fans who’ve been waiting so breathlessly for this couple to marry.
The executive producer of the show reportedly just assumed people were bored with wedding scenes on TV shows.
I don’t know how it is in Great Britain, but on THIS side of the pond, we fetishize weddings to an incredible degree. So much so we have about 7,892 wedding-themed reality shows. Including some that show brides beating up their bridesmaids.
We’re not bored by wedding scenes!
2. About that wedding dress . . . hideous. It looked like cats fighting in a sack. But apparently, that was the only kind of wedding dress they had during the early 1920s. By coincidence, I watched a movie earlier in the day about the marriage of King George VI and his queen, Elizabeth. Her wedding dress was even uglier than Mary’s, and she was a Duchess at the time.
3. Best line of the evening: did not actually belong to Violet (Maggie Smith) this time. OR, to new arrival, Cora’s mom Martha Levinson (Shirley McLaine, looking like she can’t wait to get out of damp England and back to sunny L.A.).
Lord Grantham got to toss a gem for a change:
“Are you UNPOPULAR downstairs, Thomas?”
Thomas, of course, is the sneaky footman-now-valet-because-all-the-boys-were-killed-in-the-war. Lord Grantham knows perfectly well he’s unpopular. Unless he somehow acquired a war wound without actually going to war that made him forget everything that happened during Seasons 1 & 2.
4. Why on earth did Mrs. Hughes go to see the same quack who misdiagnosed Matthew? This was the guy who said Matthew would never walk or have sex again. Ha, he fooled him! And didn’t Matthew’s mom have to school this same doctor on a procedure to help save the life of some farmer once?
Good God, the man is probably going to kill Mrs. Hughes! I hope Matthew’s mom butts in (a good bet) and gets her to a doctor who knows what he’s doing.
5. You know your world is crumbling around you when they break out the cocktails and dinner jackets. I thought Violet would have an apoplexy. Thank goodness her son lost most of his wife’s fortune so she could have something else to worry about.
6. Matthew is some kind of magnet for large fortunes he did nothing to earn. And don’t believe for a minute that he won’t eventually accept the one from his late fiancee’s father. The show is called DOWNTON ABBEY. It will be a cold day in hell (i.e. the final episode of the final season) before there is no Lord Grantham living there.
7. You know we’re supposed to feel sorry for Sybil because she looks dowdy now. Poor thing, she’s stuck married to a revolutionary who doesn’t want to wear a morning coat, so her hair went flat. Her teeth will probably start to fall out next.
8. Edith still looks a bit dowdy, even with her new hairdo, but for the love of PETE, let her marry the old guy with one hand! This is one of the mysteries of the premiere–why her family is suddenly SO concerned with Edith’s choice of beau. They liked him well enough when she was first stalking, er, pursuing him. He’s a gentleman, a war hero, AND HE HAS LOTS OF MONEY. You know, the stuff the Crawleys are suddenly short of. I’m beginning to think her father secretly hates her.
9. The producers think we don’t want wedding scenes, but DO want a lot of prison scenes. Someone break Bates out of jail. Please. So we don’t have to see him in jail anymore.
10. Isn’t it funny how much Americans love this show when the show has absolutely nothing good to say about Americans? Ha-ha-ha . . . . wait a minute. Hmmm . . .
11. But we got the last laugh when Cora’s mom basically said “bite me” when they asked her for money. Yeah, that was cool.
Related articles
- ‘Downton Abbey’: The wedding . . . or not (seattletimes.com)
- Downton Abbey Watch: A Wedding and Some Unexpected News (entertainment.time.com)
MOON IN GEMINI 
Oh My Dear God, I think this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read on your blog. EVER.
PS. Don’t you think Lady Mary is totally a scorpio?
Thank you!
I think that’s quite possible, though she’s a bit cool for a water sign. But other than that, it certainly fits!
Mary acts more like a Capricorn.
She played the daughter in the recent mini-series of William Boyd’s novel, Restless. She is such a bad actress 😦
I think this is a really dumb show. I watch it only to ROFL. Bates could rot in prison, for all I care; Lady Edith — pathetic loser! — should enter a nunnery (yes, they have them in the Anglican church); Lord G needs to take that poker out of his backside; I could go on…but has it dawned on Lady G yet that he only married her for her money? Money money money…it sure made that world go round!
If you want to see something really relevant — AND well-written AND well-acted — set in this time frame, see The Shooting Party, with a marvelous, memorable, compelling performance by James Mason as the lord of the manor.