Zimbio Quizzes Are Ruining My Life

danyzimbio

You must have taken a Zimbio quiz or two, right?

They’re fun, aren’t they?

At least, they started out being fun for me.

One of my Facebook friends posted the Which Game of Thrones Character Are You quiz. I thought, what the heck, I’ll take it, too.

I was absolutely thrilled to find out I was Daenerys Targaryan.

She’s one of my favorite characters AND a total badass. I mean, look at what happens when she says the word “dracarys”:

daenerys

WOW! That’s me, I thought! I AM DAENERYS STORMBORN OF HOUSE TARGARYAN, THE UNBURNT, MOTHER OF DRAGONS, KHALEESI OF DROGO’S RIDERS, AND QUEEN OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS OF WESTEROS! WOOOO!!!

Any time someone annoyed me over the next couple of days, I thought to myself, “DRACARYS” and walked away, happy I was a badass like Daenerys.

Then I took the Which Hunger Games Character Are You quiz.

I got KATNISS!!!!! (Of course, she’s a Taurus and I’m a Taurus.)

Look at this, another badass!

Katniss

I’m not saying I can do that (or even shoot an arrow from a bow that will fly more than a couple of feet, let’s be honest). But I walked around for a couple of days thinking, I AM KATNISS, I AM THE MOCKINGJAY and giving the three finger salute to people I like. They probably thought I was insane, but I didn’t care. I was Katniss!

This is fun, I thought. I’m going to take the Which Avengers Character Are you quiz next.

I got The Hulk.

O.K., not sure how I feel about being a huge green thing, but again, BADASS.

Hulk

I walked around for a day or two thinking about punching planes and helicopters out of the sky.

So, what quiz is next? How about Which Star Wars Character Are You?

I got Padme Amidala.

Hmmm. Well–at first, she was pretty badass.

padme2

But then she turned into a whiny, weepy wimp who ended up dying of a broken heart.

Padme

Not so badass.

Oh, well, there must have been something wrong with that quiz. On to the next.

I tried Which Disney Princess Are You?

I got Belle.

O.K.! If I’m willing to overlook the whole Stockholm Syndrome thing, she’s pretty amazing, and super-smart. I can live with that.

Belle1

Then I did the Which Once Upon A Time Character Are You quiz.

I got Belle–AGAIN!

Belle2

I don’t know–in this incarnation, Belle is in love with Rumplestilskin, who killed his first wife by tearing out her heart from her body and crushing it. Not sure I could overlook that, personally.

Let’s try another quiz. How about Which Disney Villain Are You?

I got The Evil Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

ALL RIGHT!

No question about it this time. She’s a TOTAL badass!

EvilQueen

Kind of obsessed with her looks, and wanted to murder her stepdaughter and…well, she is called the EVIL queen. But badass, right? RIGHT?

Let’s go for a totally different quiz. How about Which Orange Is The New Black Character Are You?

I got Alex.

She’s cool. O.K., so she’s a drug mule who manipulated her lover Piper into a crime and then ratted her out so she had to serve time…

Alex

Wait, not cool.

Next quiz! Let’s see, I’m going to try–Which Harry Potter Character Are You?

He-he, I know for SURE I’m going to get Hermione. I got Belle twice, and she was a scholar, and…

I got Ron Weasley.

Wait, WHAT?

This guy?

RonW

Yeah, I am a little bit clumsy, and I guess Ron is a great person. He always faces danger with Harry even though he’s completely terrified. That’s nice, though I didn’t run around thinking, “I’m Ron Weasley! Yay!” after I took the test.

Let’s give it one more shot. I’m going to take the Which Downton Abbey Character Are You quiz.

I GOT EDITH.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT KIND OF IDIOT MADE UP THIS QUIZ? EDITH?! WTF!

Don’t get me wrong–I like Edith. She’s a character who everyone in the story dismisses or dislikes, a real underdog (except for that whole being the daughter of a lord thing).

She’s like those bop clown toys from when I was a kid. You kept knocking them down and they kept getting back up. Which is admirable, but you’d think after everything, Edith would just stay like this all the time:

Edith

Because every time she gets back up, SOMETHING WORSE HAPPENS TO HER. She’s definitely not a badass. If she were, she’d have punched her snotty sister Mary in the nose years ago.

Instead, she just takes everything everyone dishes out to her.

IS ZIMBIO SAYING THIS IS ME?

That’s it, I’m done with Zimbio quizzes.

Let me see what I get from the Buzzfeed quizzes

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136 thoughts on “Zimbio Quizzes Are Ruining My Life

      1. Awesome-sauce. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. It’s fun right. Pretty freaking badass, I might say. And we are totally more like that old dowager with the purple hat. . . can’t think of her name at the moment after a glass of wine.

  1. I feel you. And I got Edith, too. That made me swear off of quizzes for like a week! AND I GOT WESLEY CRUSHER ON THE STAR TREK TNG QUIZ. That was so insulting.

  2. hahaha I’m obsessed with these and I keep getting badasses, too! Well, when I don’t get badasses (like today I took a “Which Harry Potter Professor are you?” quiz and ended up with Hagrid – unacceptable), I retake the quizzes to fit who I “really” am (Dumbledore!). I was a bit disappointed though, when my workplace started getting stressful and I realized that I was not Daenarys as my quiz suggested, but freakin Ned Stark. GAH. THESE QUIZZES.

  3. what a fun read! i’ve been going through the other freshly-pressed posts and was feeling very down by the melancholic nature of the posts (gag) and this upbeat, fun post –that i totally relate to– perk me right up. just wanted to drop a note telling you how i appreciate it.

    and i am totally girl-crushing on Daenerys!

  4. Love this post! I got caught up in the Which so and so were you. but I got tired of it when Facebook friends seemed to be taking another quiz a minute, and I’m like “when do you have the time to watch all these shows?” Now If I ever take a quiz I tend to keep the results to myself, because I can’t help but wonder if I’m being annoying. But then again, I am a worrier…

    1. Thank you! Sometimes I don’t post results to FB, if it’s an embarrassing result. I’m pretty sure I didn’t share the Edith result. (Of course, I shared it here, so that’s kind of an Edith-like move.)

  5. I think, perhaps, it should be the law that the creators have to add a “5. all of the above” or “F. Chocolate and lots of it, of course” to the answer list of every quiz or even, ” Are you nuts? NVTS, NUTS!” as an answer(yes, I am hormonal today 😉

    1. Yes, I think they try to cushion less-popular results with a good description. Didn’t change how I felt about getting Edith, though. 🙂

  6. Hilarious post. I nearly choked on my coffee there at the end! Thanks for the chuckles 🙂 I know the feeling though! Sometimes the results are really cool and others….bleh!

  7. What a fantastic post! I try very hard to stay away from these quizzes, but curiosity always gets the better of me. They are addicting but absolutely ridiculous, my FB feed is filled with friends doing every quiz they come across! XD

  8. Such a blog post this was. The outcome o’ these sort of quizzes as to the degree of neatness of the character you are assigned seems to me to fairly heavily depend on the themes of the story; in that if it features undertones of loyalty or some such, this attributes will be featured most strongly in the central character, who tends to lean towards the awesome side, whereas other characteristics the quiz would analyze, while desirable, would be displayed more in people the story doesn’t tell us to relate to in the same way; and we feel all sad-like when the quiz does.

  9. I refuse to take this quizzes because I question all the results of the ones my friends take. These quizzes are slowly taking over our society, before you know it they will be part of the interview process when applying for a new job.

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